Bob and Larry tell a story about when they were younger and worked taking people on luxury boat tours. Which brings me to the second story of the episode. Sometimes, you really are better off not forgiving them, and erecting some barriers instead. A mistake an adult makes a second time is more likely to be a mistake they make a third time, a third mistake more likely to be repeated a fourth one, and so on. Adults, have more self-control in the short term, but are less malleable in the long run. ![]() However, the lesson of giving second chances, once learned, sometimes does have to be unlearned. They will make mistakes and need to be forgiven again and again and again. In the short term, they have very little self-control, but they are also in the middle of forming their personalities, their identities and their whole style of interacting with people. In little kids, this tendency is a wee bit exaggerated. The fact is that humans, despite the best of intentions, often screw up a few more times before they actually change for the better. That said, I do actually think it is important for kids to learn to forgive repeatedly. The trouble with sticking around people after they’ve hurt you again and again is that often you end up getting hurt really badly. they are not actually good people to be around. they don’t have any actual intention to improve their behavior, but are merely apologizing as a learned behavior to avoid consequences and therefore B. The trouble with repeatedly forgiving somebody is that sometimes the fact that they keep having to apologize means that, A. This is one of those places where Christian teachings did not set me up well for the future. isn’t a fan of this, but all it takes to get him to accept the apology for a second time is the reminder that Jesus once told his disciples that they should forgive people “not seven times, but seventy times seven times.” (Matthew 18:22) This was apparently a complex metaphor for “you never stop forgiving.” ![]() Might I refresh your memory as to how well that worked last time? Jr’s Dad comes out and reminds them of that whole “don’t be assholes” thing, and they apologize again, and then Jr. The grapes keep their promise for all of five seconds. They apologize, with a promise to not do it again, and Jr. This is apparently a novel concept to them. He then puts on his best patient grown-up lecture voice, and explains to them that the thing about being mean is that being mean is mean and you should probably not do it. until he starts crying and Jr’s Dad comes out to see what’s going on. It opens with a family of grapes driving around, being petty and mean for no reason, until they encounter Jr. It was only the second episode, and I think they were still finding their voice. This one is actually a bit bland and preachy, as Veggie Tales goes. “Once upon a time, there were some very cranky grapes.” ![]() Larry leads us straight into the first story The Grapes of Wrath. It opens with a letter from a kid who is frustrated by this whole, “God says forgive everyone, seriously, you do not have a choice in this,” issue. The second Veggie Tales episode is one of the many Christian stories that helped form my understanding of forgiveness, prior to atheism. ![]() Now that I’m an atheist, forgiving still feels like a generally good thing to do, but why? What am I really doing when I forgive? Now that I don’t believe in a God demanding that I forgive everyone, is it ever acceptable to choose to not forgive? Is that ever a good decision? Sins were stains on our soul, but forgiveness washed them away, and just as God washed our sins away, we are required to follow his example and forgive others. I was raised to think of forgiveness in a very Christian context. People who apologize to me still get to hear a some variation on “I accept your apology.” My crisis is more metaphysical. I don’t mean that I’ve suddenly taken to holding permanent grudges. I’ll admit, I’m having a little bit of trouble figuring out what to do with forgiveness, now that I’m an atheist. Otherwise, I stand by pretty much everything here) ( note: I’m now a vaguely spiritual neopagan witchy-type.
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